


Testimony

by TrisB



Category: Big Love
Genre: F/F, Mormonism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-04-24
Updated: 2006-04-24
Packaged: 2017-10-29 06:37:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/316828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrisB/pseuds/TrisB
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Sarah," Heather begins hesitantly after dinner, the second time she's invited over, "do you have a testimony?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Testimony

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lizzen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lizzen/gifts).



> Every Mormon is expected to have a testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel, that is, to "know" that Mormonism is true. This knowledge is usually obtained through prayer (see the Book of Mormon, Moroni 10:4), fasting, study, reading the standard works, or through personal revelation. It is the equivalent of what Christians call "faith." Mormons are expected to be always ready to "bear" their testimony, especially in fast and testimony meeting. It is often formulaic: "I know with every fiber of my being that the Gospel is true; I know that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God, and I know that the present President of the church is a living prophet. I know that the Book of Mormon is true, and I have received a firm witness thereto from the Holy Ghost. I bear this testimony to you in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen." Bearing testimony is the Mormon equivalent of the Christian's "witnessing." To have a "weak" testimony is to have doubts about Mormonism, and to "lose" one's testimony is to become an apostate.
> 
> [(source)](http://home.teleport.com/~packham/glossary.htm)

"Sarah," Heather begins hesitantly after dinner, the second time she's invited over, "do you have a testimony?"

"You mean, do _I know with every fiber of my being that the Gospel is true_ and that, oh yeah, _Joseph Smith was a Prophet of God_? Does my bosom burn with the manifestation of the Holy Ghost?" Sarah looks up from her laptop. "I don't know, I guess not. Why?"

"Well, it's just." Heather fiddles with the bedspread. "I think it's sad. You were a member of the Church, you were on the path to what's right, and then your parents made this selfish decision and shot your testimony to heck."

Sarah waits.

"I mean, I _know_ that faith should be a rock but I get it, how hard it must be to not doubt, when your family strays and rejects the truth that will set you free. I feel lucky," she adds, "that I've never had to question my testimony, never been told any lies. But I feel sorry for you. And I want to help."

"Heather," Sarah says after a moment, folding her computer shut, "you really need to shut up, because you don't know what you're talking about."

"Look, I'm sorry, that was rude. I should go —"

"You _know_ that Joseph Smith was a Prophet, right? But you know the Church is true and whatever President Hinckley says goes, don't you? So testify to me why what Joseph Smith and Brigham Young believed in could get my dad arrested."

"I didn't —"

"Explain to me why God changes His mind about who can marry who and drink what and wear which. Do you know, Heather? Because I don't, and I would like to. Do you _know_ the reasons why?" She sits down on the bed beside her friend, breathing heavily.

"No." Heather stares at her hands. "I don't know why God's laws don't stay the same. I just know the witness I feel in my heart, and how safe it makes me feel. I think you should be safe, too."

"Well," Sarah considers, laying her head on Heather's shoulder. "I'm not. Give uncertainty a try sometime. It's scary not to believe."

Heather takes Sarah's hand, gives her a small smile. "You don't want to just follow the Church anyway, despite your parents?" Their clasped hands twist, and they feel a little safer, a little more dangerous.

"It's too late," Sarah sighs, and kisses Heather with her eyes closed. The energy is electrifying and bright and it sparks in both their breasts. "Listened to my heart's testimony. Now I know too much."


End file.
